“Aaaaaamen…. aaaaaaaaamen….. aaaaammmeeeeeen…” belted the tiny voice in my back seat, along with a few other tiny toddler words of praise I couldn’t quite make out as my sweet little girl continued in her joyous song. As I saw her bouncing curls and smile I couldn’t help but sing along…. “many many blessings.. many many blessings.”
As the song ended and the drive continued I began to think about worship in my own life.
You see just a few days before I had shared with my husband that I felt we needed to pray over a certain situation. I felt that the Lord had been putting it on my heart to make prayer a priority in our marriage and I wanted to be obedient in that.
My husband however had been reluctant, he admitted that sometimes he didn’t want to pray because of the fear of disappointment.
I don’t know about you but I could totally relate.
There have been so many times that I haven’t prayed because I was afraid or felt like I didn’t want to bother God with my trivial request. I encouraged him in his reluctant fear and that night we sat hand in hand pouring out to God our hearts to His will.
That next morning, it looked like God not only heard our prayers, but was granting us the desire of our hearts. My heart sang with praise at the first hint of good news.
I felt elated and praised God; I felt like we had made headway and was excited for answered prayers.
Little did either of us know, other factors would in fact land us right smack dab in the outcome we were hoping against.
I would be lying if I said I hadn’t felt that tinge of disappointment.
Though I knew in my heart for every no God has ever given me He has replaced it with a better yes, my heart still burned mostly for the pain I knew my husband was feeling.
As I prayed silently at my desk through the disappointing outcome, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the story of David and Bathsheba. (2 Samuel 11)
If you aren’t familiar with the story, it is one that seems like it would be straight out of a suspenseful romantic movie.
David one day spotted Bathsheba from the roof of his palace while she was bathing. At that point, David was love-struck or should I say lust-struck and had to have her as his own.
The only catch was Bathsheba was married to a man named Uriah.
Still that didn’t stop the two of them, they gave into their desires and Bathsheba ended up pregnant with David’s child while her husband Uriah was away at war.
When David found out he called Uriah to his palace and tries to manipulate him several times and even got him drunk to try to convince him to go home and sleep with his wife.
Uriah, being loyal to his men and a man of valor, refuses to go because of his fellow soldiers who are still fighting.
This caused David to take matters into his own hands and he has Uriah sent to the front lines. He gives one of the commanders special orders to make sure that Uriah would be killed by the enemy and when he dies David takes Bathsheba as his wife.
This tragedy greatly displeased the Lord and grieved his heart, so He sends the prophet Nathan to David.
Nathan prophesied to David (2 Samuel 12: 1-15) that the child Bathsheba is pregnant with will die due to his wrongful deeds.
David is completely crushed, as any of us would be, he had sinned against the God he loves and he would pay dearly for it.
When David’s child was born and became ill, David wept and fasted. He was inconsolable and I can imagine he spent many nights begging God to change His mind.
Can you imagine? The pain, the horror and he gut wrenching prayers that David must have sobbed as he laid there starving on the floor?
Well as the Lord had told David, the child died on the 7th day.
Because of David’s erratic behavior during the child’s illness, nobody wanted to tell him but when David found out His reaction was very unexpected:
19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.”20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
2 Samuel 12: 19-20
All of that praying, fasting, begging and pleading and what does David do?
He gets up and worships.
On the heels of probably one of the most excruciating moments of devastation and shame and guilt he gets up and goes to give God praise.
This story was a gut punch of blessing for me. To realize, in the moments when we didn’t get our way we shouldn’t feel disappointment, we should praise.
Praise God for His protection and provision and faith for what is to come that will be so much more amazing than we could ever imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
We never know what outcomes are coming from our disappointments but we do know they will always be His will.
This may be hard for you to hear right now. You may be dealing with unbearable situations and insurmountable odds but can I encourage you to just praise in the small victories?
The Lord was good to bring me this story and it has been playing repeatedly in my mind… the true heart of worship isn’t the world the way I want it to be, it is exchanging my wants for His desires joyfully.
Jesus, let us come to you with a heart for thanksgiving in the trials. They you for the refining fire you walk with us through. Thank you for being the God who sees. Jesus I pray you would reveal yourself even brighter and strengthen each of us. Though I fervently pray for an end to the suffering may I praise you in the midst of it. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Reason 2911 